This is one of the few stories in which it is rather painful to scroll through these comments and watch as everybody give this story incredibly high scores. I think it is about time I went ahead and fixed that, but I have a lot of ground to cover if I am to explain my dislike effectively.
Slimebeast seems to have a very specific emotion captured in a few of his stories, and that is sarcasm. He does this very well in "Funnymouth", but it is one of the major flaws of this story. When a thing that is supposed to be creepy occurs early in the story, he always kind of has some sarcastic thought or weird detail.
For example, the main character and Sid just had a little conversation revealing how Sid feels about his new versions of things and how he believes the old, happy endings to just be a lie. However, right after that, the protagonist says the following:
"He just kept drawing as I stood there. The silence was disturbing, and in that moment I could smell the B.O. coming off of him. It wasn't just sweat, either. It was a mingling of that and a foul ass and piss-soaked cloth."
Why would you bother bringing that up? Literally, you could have had something of an unsettling moment, but then you bring up this kind of sarcastic remark and an unnecessary detail that really should have either been summed up before the conversation or not referenced at all.
There are plenty more examples of stuff like this, and I could certainly dig through some more for you, but I have to get to some of my other problems.
Firstly, the creepy stuff is not creepy. This is mainly because of the concept. Don't get me wrong, this does have an interesting and original concept, but it has to kind of focus on very poor source material. Since Lost Episode pastas are very cliche and not very scary, anything revolving around the stuff Sid creates is usually cliche and not very scary. Sure, there is some conversations about Sid's mind which could be interesting and disturbing, but they are usually (again) interrupted by the sarcastic writing style. The ending is not cliche, but that is something I want to address later. I'm not looking forward to it.
Next, I should probably go ahead and say why this concept actually only works for a few "Lost Episode" pastas. This doesn't really effect the story itself, but I simply noticed that stories such as "Dead Bart", "Suicidemouse.avi", "The Amazing World of Gumball: The Grieving", "The Black Friday Incident", and many more all state that the creators of each of those episodes/films were the actual creators of the source material. Therefore, a bit of credibility is lost when this pasta only applies to a couple stories.
For a Slimebeast story, there are a few grammar errors, which I usually never notice in his stories. Possibly this is due to the rather poor plot. Sometimes, Slimebeast brings up random things only to never mention them or explain what they did with it again. For example:
"Somewhere out there, this chubby Star Wars nerd from our highschool has all three original films flawlessly cut together, with edited-in effects that would've made George Lucas himself cry out: 'Enough meddling!!'
We charged him like twenty dollars for the only copy, because we were idiots."
Alright, then. Really pointless and really doesn't add much to what you already said about how much of a great animator Sid was, but if you build upon it or have it have some relevance to the plot, it might work.
Of course it is never mentioned again.
Now, it appears I must address the ending. I have looked at many angles to see how this ending could possibly work and be scary, and nothing works. Slimebeast starts building up this horrific thing, the parents are dead, the sarcastic tone is kind of there but it is starting to fade away, and then Slimebeast threw his keyboard to the ground and said, "Screw it! I can't think of ending, so I'm just going to write random stuff down and hope it works!"
Sid being a cartoon character is incredibly stupid. I might have taken it seriously if it was written very dramatically and Sid said absolutely nothing, but that does not happen. However, that is not the only reason why this does not work. The thing is that the twist itself is an awful twist.
Sid showed that he hated the happy endings and he liked the new and more dark endings, so it makes perfect sense that he would put himself in one of the happiest environments ever (sarcasm). Secondly, where is his motivation? Sid was just shown to be obsessed with doing this whole thing with tapes and maybe a bit insane, but they never suggested him wanting to essentially kill himself and (possibly) his parents. Lastly, this twist would never, ever work in reality. Why would they have a sign saying a bank bought the property and yet allow all their stuff to remain there, leave the power on, and not even bother to investigate the house or conduct any search for these dead people? It makes no sense, and completely makes this story fail.
In total, I dislike this pasta for quite a few reasons. It fails as a Creepypasta and it fails as being an entertaining story. There are elements and moments that make it kind of interesting sometimes, but overall, it really doesn't work.
FINAL SCORE: 3/10
Reviewed by AGrimAuxiliatrix1